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Tuesday, October 28, 2008

OBJECTION!!

I saw a quote the other day and it was one that I disagreed with. Usually when I find a quote I don’t agree with or don’t like, I’ll just skip over it or ignore it and move on, But this one really stuck with me and really bothered me. The quote said,

“Live your life so that you don’t need a diary”

I have no idea who said it cause the place I saw it didn’t properly reference it. But I really don’t like it. I do have a journal yes, I don’t write in it all the time but I do have one. And I had a diary or journal growing up. When I look at my past writings I don’t care so much who reads it because it is my past. But there are things that I write that I don’t want anyone to see. Not that they are bad or hurtful, but they are my own private thoughts and ramblings a lot of times when I am emotional. It is a good way to get out my feelings and really organize my thoughts without worrying about what I am saying or who is reading or listening or anything like that. I don’t have to be completely coherent or make sense to others because my journal writing is between myself and God and we understand what I write and no one else needs to.

I think it’s impossible to live that kind of life. To me it’s like saying that you can’t have your own space to write down your feelings. If you can’t share your feelings with people than you have to keep them bottled up. I don’t agree with that. Sometimes writing out your ideas and your feelings helps you think through situations that if you had just said them to people would have caused a lot of hurt. Also sometimes the best stories and songs come from peoples diaries, their private thoughts and life.

All I wanted to say about that quote was I don’t like it! I really don’t! It can give young impressionable people the wrong idea.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The Watchers

Chapter 3

The next few days were filled with a thunderous cacophony of rain limiting the time I spent outdoors to a bear minimum. When the rain finally subsided I called together a meeting of The Watchers at our usual spot. The back corner of Mrs. Browns was grown with grass and wildflowers creating a dense forest only broken by the old tool shed. Mrs. Brown was old, but not quite as old as her lifelong guardian Augustus, or Gus, as we called him. Gus had horrible hearing which was unfortunate for us when we spoke to him as we had to practically yell and often create quite a ruckus. It was fortunate though that Mrs. Brown was just as deaf and never heard anything coming from her old shed.
Oscar, a tabby from down the street called our meeting to order.

“Everyone, please come to order,” she instructed.
It took some time but the chatter eventually died down to a murmur and than finally silence.
“Thank you,” she continued. “Now. We are here today to hear an account of Rissi’s watch from a few nights ago and to discuss our actions in response to it. Rissi.”

I nodded toward Oscar as I stepped forward and began to give my report.
“There is a stranger here among us” I began.
The room filled with exclamations of surprise and confusion. Everyone started speaking at once.

“What?”
“Here? Now?”
“But I recognize everyone!”
“Maybe they’re hiding somewhere”
“Quick lets find them.”

I tried to get control of the situation before they started a full out search party.
“Wait, wait!” I called out, “Not HERE, here. Out THERE! In the neighborhood, there is a stranger. Out There!”

“Eat pears!?” Gus shouted back.
“Out there!!!” three cars yelled back.
“Ok, ok, out there. No need to yell!” Gus replied quite flustered. He began to lick his paws.

“As I was saying,” I continued with a sigh, “there is something out There” I emphasized “ that I believe needs to be addressed> I was ruthlessly chased down by this…this…BEAST” I exclaimed.
Several cats gasped, a few ‘oh my’s’ were heard. I quickly picked up my story again before I completely lost them.

“The yappy dog up the street…uh what’s his name? That horrible annoying black one. Well he’s disappeared.” That caused more gasps and a lot of nods of approval, which probably was inappropriate but not unexpected.

“It was the last clear night we had. I was on patrol for Bobbin when I saw a pair of glowing eyes watching me. I desperately tried to escape the fierce glare of these eyes but they followed me over fences, through flowerbeds, across grassy yards, even into the road!” I was awarded many supportive exclamations for my bravery. “ I at last had a stare down with my pursuer. His taunting voice was like nails grating in my ears. His fangs dripped blood as he approached.” By now everyone had grown silent leaning closer to me, feeling the tension rising in the room.
“ Suddenly the door behind me opened and I took advantage of the momentary distraction and bolted in side the doors.” I finished with a flourish of my tail to add finality to my story. Silence followed my story as all the watching cats eyes were glued on me.

“So what.” A voice called out into the silence.
As if waking from a trance, noise started to fill the room.
“So what? So what!” I exclaimed. “Who said ‘so what’?” I demanded searching around the room for the source of this outrageous statement.
“I did,” said Gus as he stepped forward. It seemed that he could hear just fine now. “Yes. So what? We’ve had many a stranger invade our area before now. And no one gives a whisker what happened to that yappy pup down the street. We are all better off.” He finished.
“Yes, but” I tried to reason.
“Leave it be” Gus responded. And with that he turned his back on me and waltzed out. At least I think that was what he was trying to do but it was more of lumber out of the dingy shed. As if his exit was the final gavel, the meeting ended. The magical spell that my story held upon my audience was broken and they began to disperse.

I sat there, dumbfounded, my mouth wide open till I was left alone in the shed, the words from Gus still reverberating in the room. After a time I collected the shattered bits of my pride and slowly walked out in to the bright sun. Momentarily blinded by the piercing sunlight a stark contrast to the darkness I just left, a voice spoke behind me.

“I think it matters.”

I looked around me but found no source of the voice. My eyes slowly adjusted to the light as an almost inaudible thump of paws hitting the grass behind me. I turned and saw a small grey kitten with bright blue eyes walk toward me.
“I think it matters. About the stranger and the disappearing dog. Even if no one liked him.” It informed me.

“Thanks,” I murmured back.
“I want to help you,” it continued, “ my name is Jelly-Ann.”

I looked at this small grey kitten in front of me with disbelief. This small creature who could barely frighten kibble out of its bowl wants to help me with this hideous, frightening monster. I looked around me to see it maybe, just maybe, there was someone else, someone braver more capable waiting to offer their help. But I was alone except for this youngling barely out of the womb.

“Well…”I sighed finally looking back at it., “ok.” I shrugged. I had no idea what this kitten was thinking. It was insane! And I was insane thinking that anything good would come of this. More than likely I would end up protecting it more than doing anything else, but what choice did I have now? I started walking past the small kitten. I didn’t hear anything behind me. ‘Maybe it took off’ I thought as I looked over my back to check, but there it was following me. ‘Wow!’ I thought, ‘It sure is quiet. Maybe that could come in handy.’
“What’s your name again?” I asked facing forward again.
“Jelly-Ann.” It replied, her voice filled with the confidence of a full-grown cat.
“Jelly-Ann,” I affirmed.
I had no idea what I was going to do now, but I at least had one feline on my side.

Monday, October 13, 2008

With the changing of the season hastening in the many wonderful holidays, my mum and I have started our yearly tradition of listening to Christmas music.

While I love Christmas music there is one song that has always confused me as to why it is considered a Christmas song as it has nothing to do with Christmas and is not even known for being in a Christmas movie! That song is "My Favorite Things" made well known by The Sound of Music.

It's a fine song, I just don't like that it is played at Christmas cause it has NOTHING to do with Christmas.

Also when I listen to this song I think,

'Wait a minute...these may not be my favorite things...sure they are nice, but I don't consider them my favorite things!'

So I wrote my own lyrics to My Favorite Things with what MY favorite things are.

(And just to clarify the tune is My Favorite Things.)

Sun on my face, and the warm summer breezes
Sweet scents of flowers and hot cups of coffee
Portland at night all lit up and sparkling
These are a few of my favorite things

Leaves changing colors, long drives thorough the country
Dark chocolate and dancing and innocent kisses
Music that moves me that I love to sing
These are a few of my favorite things

What its raining for 3 months straight
And it makes me sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

Jazz music, movies, and ball gowns that sparkle
Hot showers and dark nights with stars shining brightly
Thunder storms grumble and lightning flashing
These are a few of my favorite things

Warm snuggles and campfires and blankets so cozy
Shooting stars, beach days the smell of fresh laundry
Wind in the trees, bright green hills, friends hugging
These are a few of my favorite things.



Visit my blog at http://beckymae39.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Life questions or tired ramblings?

Can you do nothing all day and still be tired? Not that I don't do anything. But my job (or jobs) are not that physically tiring but I can barely keep my eyes open. When did this happen!? It seemed like only a little bit ago I could stay up late and run on very little sleep and here I am at age 22 and I am sleeping with my eyes open! Not really cause it's hard to sleep like that.

Can you miss someone so much! And yet never cry? I've tried. Thinking that if I can make myself cry than I might feel better. But when you can't cry does that make you real?

Do you ever feel that your life is so good, so blessed, that you have no idea what life is really like? Like you are in a dream world where things are strange and you move too slow, but you can't wake up? And you think you are dreaming, but you can't be sure. And you want something horrible or something that hurts to happen to you just to be sure that you really exist and have feelings.

Can you hate your life for being mediocre? For having a safe life?

Is it ok to be one of the crowd? To not do anything wonderful or spectacular or worth noticing? Can I just be one of the masses. The faceless in a crowd. Nothing is expected of me to produce something great or change the world. Just live and go along with whatever happens.

Maybe I'm just tired.